Most Oppressedest Tootsie of the Week: whoops, wrong laydeeface Forbes!

Pritzker-2

James Jennifer Pritzker – mostest oppressedest twanzwoman

Forbes, the doshtracking gossip rag for 1%ers, had a whoopsies moment recently, when, in all the excitement of reporting on The Firstest LaydeeTwanz Billionaire, accidentally had photo of wrong laydeeface on the article, below.

Pritzker-1

I know, right?! It must have been the blue tie, tied into a bow that got them all confused! Twanzjacktivists, mobilise your forces at this blatant bit of twanzphobia! Send Forbes some death and rape threats, because that is your tried and true method of dealing with twanzphobia!

Of course Jimmy Jennifer is the mostest oppressedest twanzwoman, being the only one in the Forbes List. I know how that feels, being the only twanzbillionaire twanzsquirrel on the planet. Maybe Jimmy Jennifer will invite me around for champagne cocktails some time? *sob*

There are 48 women on this year’s FORBES 400 list of richest Americans, but one stands out from the rest. With her listing newly switched to female, Jennifer Pritzker becomes the world’s first transgender billionaire.

Jennifer Natalya Pritzker, formerly known as James, is one of 11 billionaire members of the extended Pritzker family on the FORBES list. […] The heiress has an estimated net worth of $1.7 billion.

Crain’s Chicago Business first broke the news in late August and a spokesperson for Pritzker’s Chicago-based family investment office Tawani Enterprises confirmed to FORBES, noting that the name change may not be legally finalized until the end of October. The statement provided to Crain’s reads:

“This change will reflect the beliefs of her true identity that she has held privately and will now share publicly. Pritzker now identifies herself as a woman for all business and personal undertakings.”

Laydee for six months! Not sure if the beliefs are autogynephilia or wanting to be rogered up the bum. But wait! There is more!

Pritzker is a retired Army lieutenant colonel with 11 years active duty, followed by 16 years in the U.S. National Guard. Earlier this year, she gave $1.35 million to the Palm Center to create the Transgender Military Service Initiative. The goal of the project is “to sponsor state-of-the-art scholarship on transgender military service, and to enhance the quality of public dialogue.”

Pritzker also donated $25 million in April to Norwich University, the school that established the Reserve Officers’ Training Corps (ROTC). And in 2011 she founded the Pritzker Military Library, a research museum dedicated to “the Citizen Soldier in the preservation of democracy.”

Kerching! Another ex-military laydee! Donating to laydee causes and patriarchical military institutions! Yay for womanhood – makes me so warm and fuzzy inside. Say hello to Sandeen and all the others for me Jimmy. To be fair, maybe Jimmy Jennifer got the idea from reading my recent post for World Peace. The All-Laydee Army plan.

Pritzker-3

Well, source of wealth is a bit misleading, given Jimmy Jennifer inherited most of his dosh. Sobs on the divorced status, what woman wouldn’t want to be married to a laydee such as this? Such a selfish woman, not wanting to share her wardrobe and all.

Jennifer Pritzker announced in August 2013 that she would now live her life as a woman, making her the world’s first transgender billionaire. Formerly known as James, the retired Army lieutenant colonel founded the Pritzker Military Library in Chicago in 2003, and through her Tawani Foundation works to preserve American military history. She is CEO of private wealth management firm Tawani Enterprises in Chicago. Jennifer is one of 11 billionaire members of the extended Pritzker family, who sold a controlling stake in industrial conglomerate Marmon Holdings to Warren Buffett’s Berkshire Hathaway for $4.5 billion in 2007. Her grandfather, A.N. Pritzker (d. 1986), with his sons Jay (d. 1999), Robert (d. 2011) and Donald (D. 1972), created Marmon and hotel chain Hyatt.

Speaking of ‘inherited fortunes’, looks like most of the 48 women on the Forbes 400, managed to get there waiting for their husbands’ names to turn up in the obits. Generally only babysitting the dosh until it gets handed down to hubby’s sprog.

But Jimmy Jennifer is different! He inherited his money the Right Way™, from the dudely line, not being tainted by female gloves! He had a nice big Man Career in the army, whilst he waited for the old man to get planted (damn him, had to wait until 2011, damn that longevity!). And Jimmy of course got married and had three children, with his laydeepeen™ and laydeesperm™. I’ll bet those kiddies have already started the countdown since 2011?!

But hey, just another mostest oppressedest M2T laydee is our Jimmy. Most oppressed group on the planet are twanzwomen.

13 thoughts on “Most Oppressedest Tootsie of the Week: whoops, wrong laydeeface Forbes!

  1. Survivorthriver (@dzongsar)

    Oh the horror of the Accidental Head Shot violation! Shiver me timbers this is catastrophic – how oppressive! I wonder if he can get into the twanzbillionaire club now or if there is a green ceiling for trans there too? Good job on the flat ironing on the longer hairdo, jimmy er jenny, quite….twanztastic!

    Like

    Reply
    1. DaveSquirrel Post author

      Obviously this most serious violation has caused your inner-pirate to surface? I recommend getting a parrot, and an eye patch. You are compelled to express your Inner Pirate, it’s a jendah identitah, and should be performed and protected at all costs.

      “twanztastic” – LOL, thanks, that is so going in the lexicon now

      Like

      Reply
      1. Survivorthriver (@dzongsar)

        Ay Ay. Me sex been pirated by these laydees! The double eye patches required now when the Great White Whales and other twanz head shots appear on me screen….and, I actually feels like me parrot in the pirate movie when I sees ’em – AWWWWWK AWWWWK AWWWK BWWWWWK. erp flop bring the mop.

        Like

  2. Hecuba

    Indeed yes – ‘the horror of the accidental head shot!!’ Well said Survivortrhiver. I wonder if Jimmy has his pills to hand because he needs them in order to recover from his little mistake!!

    Typical white male with so much wealth – proves men with money have the power to do whatever they like and we mere women are expected to bow down and worship the ‘great white male.’

    Like

    Reply
  3. FabFro

    Hello Davesquirrel,

    Just gotta start off saying that I’m a long time lurker and a first time poster. I really do love your blog and your sense of humor. You always get a good chuckle out of me.
    So I decided to create an account and use my voice, well, words to show support for my radfem sisters.

    P.s
    It seems like with all that money the only thing Jenny boy could afford to help him look like a laydee was make-up and some not so great photoshopping…
    You think he’s going to keep this lazy laydee look or go for broke and transform into teh most purtiest trans laydee on earth?

    Like

    Reply
    1. DaveSquirrel Post author

      Who knows, but given the superlate ‘transitioning’, even with a millionbillion dollars, I doubt he will ever look anything more than a dude in a wig (you would think with that dosh, he could afford a better wig maybe?)

      Or maybe he will go the route of Charles/Samantha/Charles Kane, once he had indulged the fantasy for a bit.
      http://ensuringfairness.wordpress.com/resources-reference-material/trans-regretters/

      Generally those that are ex-military, have the internalised homophobia, due to the culture of masculinity and homophobia within the military. So slapping on a frock and some lippy, and *magically* all that homosexuality goes away! Coz he is a laydee now, so getting rogered up the ass is suddenly all heterosexual and magically not homosexual at all.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. FabFro

        Oh, that’s cuz his butthole turned into a speshule laydee hole once he put on that make-up…so, yea, no more homo…

        Like

  4. Pingback: Proving you don’t have to be sane to be obscenely rich, just born with a peen | twanzphobic since forever

Leave a rilly rilly twanzphobic reply, go on, dares ya!

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s