Yes, this post is gunna be about MEEEEEEE!
You see, I am not only a twanzsquirrel, but also a twanzbillionaire too. Yet everyone treats me like a human female with modest means.
I can’t help being a twanzbillionaire – I was born this way. I am a rich person/twanzsquirrel, trapped in a poorer person’s body.
Every time people don’t treat me with the respect that a twanzbillionaire should have, I want to commit suicide.
I should be eating lobster and champagne dinners every night, to acknowledge my true inner self, but instead… beans on toast!
Every time I have to drive myself in my very small and old secondhand car, instead of a stretch limo, I die a little inside. The world is not treating me like the billionaire I know that I truly am.
So many transgenders are getting gender-reaffirming surgery, sometimes subsidised or part-subsidised. Where is my billionaire-affirming help? I need it. This is not a choice. I have to have it, or I will just die.
I don’t even have a yacht. I need a yacht to affirm my inner billionairism. It is just murder living like this.
The cis-billionaires all make fun of me at the Country Club. They say I am not like them, will never be one of them, when I know that I am exactly like them in every way, but I just don’t have any money. Why are they being so mean to me?
So please donate to my cause. Every million will help in my billionaire-affirmation procedure. I need this procedure. I knew from the age of two that I was really a billionaire inside.
Someone had better create a petition and fundraiser for me, I am so oppressed as a twanzbillionaire, I don’t have any servants to cater to my every whim.
This is a matter of life and death!