Dear UN

The United Nations (UN) is very concerned with the human rights of everyone. You have already read the letter that two lesbian activists have written to the UN, and I think in the interests of fairness, we should read some more letters to the UN:

Letter #5

Dear UN

It is soooo unfaiiiiir, that hairy-legged beyatches like the ones that write these blogs are allowed into the women’s bathroom, when I am far more laydee than they will ever be. Please re-write the UN charter to consider twanzwomen as real women, and those other ugly beyatches as not women. Twanzwomen are more woman than those hairy dykes will eva be. Here, look at my Flickr pictures, aren’t I pretty?

Yours in womanliness
XXX XXXXXX

Letter #11

Dear UN

Them beeches are still being meeeeeean to me. Please make them stop. I’ve called them transphobic and everything, but they still won’t stop.

This reminds me of my 3rd grade teacher, who was also very mean to me. Please see the attachment, my 3rd grade report. In it, the bitch of a 3rd grade teacher calls me lazy and self-centred. Please sanction my 3rd grade teacher, her name was Miss Suzy Jones. It was a violation of my human rights, and she should be taken to The Haag and put on trial.

Yours in anxious anticipation
XXX XXXXXX

Letter #27

Dear UN

I refer you to my previous 26 letters in which I outlined how those biological women have been very mean to me all my life.

Yesterday at the corner store, the bio-woman at the counter made a “humpf” noise as I took “too long” (in HER opinion) to find the money to pay for my milk and packet of Cheezy Whisps. I want to expose her transphobia to the world. Please make sure her name is known to the world. She is Mrs Wong of Chicago.

Thank you for you support in this matter
XXX XXXXXX

Letter #33

Dear UN

I am very upset at the feminists. They insist that the biological category of “female” exists. Oh no. But it is only in their twisted perverted little minds, that cannot comprehend that real women have penises.

Please make sure that your future policies dictate that women have penises, not vaginas, in any guidelines that you draw up for the protection of real women like me.

Yours in anticipation
XXX XXXXXX
(ps – see how many Xs I sign my letters with? that proves I am more female than these other imposters, thanks so much, bye)

Letter #49

Dear UN

Last week my female cat had kittens. I declare this to be thoroughly transphobic, and against women with penises that cannot have kittens. Please put my cat on trial at The Haag.

Yours in anxiousness
XXX XXXXXX
ps – why have you not written back to me? Are my problems not good enough for the UN? Are you transphobic as well? My basement is getting rather dank.

Letter #58

Dear UN

I went to buy a bra today, and found that they do not make one in my size – 42AA. This is a travesty and needs to be sorted. Also, they are not making frilly girly knickers with enough room for my tackle. This is blatant discrimination against women with penises. Please make them stop.

Uncomfortably yours,
XXX XXXXXX

Letter #62

Dear UN

I finally found some girly knickers that had room for my tackle. However, they are so ugly, not in pink. This is blatant discrimination. Please call in the men in tanks to deal with this.

Yours rather drably
XXX XXXXXX

Letter #67

Dear UN

I would like to report a hate crime. My veterinarian has given my cat gender affirmation surgery but still insists on calling him “male”. While I was standing outside his clinic for the last two weeks with my protest sign it began to rain. And the rain destroyed my suede sandals! So I am suing him. When I went to the courthouse the woman LAUGHED AT ME HATEFULLY! Here are all their names. I give you permission to use peacekeeping forces if necessary to correct this awful situation.

Your’s in trust,
XXX XXXXXX

ps this is a different cat to the one that had the kittens. The cat that had the kittens is called Ernest. I did not want you to get their gender identities mixed up. I am sorry, I should have made that clear in the letter.

Letter #68

Dear UN

I simply want my veterinarian to change the name on all my cat’s files from “Max” to “Lady Gloriana” and hide all record of his wrongly assigned sex at birth. And buy me new sandals at Payless.

Letter #74

Dear UN

I have written three letters to you every day since the 13th March. You have not responded to any of my letters. Are my human rights not important to you? I told you about the underwear – this is still a really big problem and needs urgent attention. Why are you not writing back? This is important human rights stuff, why aren’t you caring?

Yours most anxiously
XXX XXXXXXXX

Letter #82

Dear Sir and Ladies of the UN

Please correct all refrences to “female reproductive health” that don’t include ED. That’s right, penile Erectile Dysfunction is important for females who have peni. Especially those of us overdosing on estrogen we bought over the internet from the Canary Islands. Also, prostate exams should be provided to females as well. I urge you to look at my Flickr page if you don’t think I’m a lady. Just ignore photo #57, that one was for my “Hung Angels” account.

Thank you, in sisterhood,
XXX (no “Y” here) XXXXXXX

Letter #83

Dear UN

Yes I know it was only five minutes ago that I last wrote to you, but you still have not responded.

If you do not respond within the next 15 minutes, I will sue you. Then you will be really sorry.

Yours in litigiousness
XXX XXXXX

Letter #91

Dear UN

My cat is flaunting her femaleness at me by breast feeding the kittens. You have not brought my cat up on charges of transphobia, as I cannot nurse kittens. When are you going to come and arrest my cat? This has to stop. It is transphobic.

In anticipation
XXX XXXXXX

Letter #93

Dear UN

I don’t care what you believe, all this biological sex nonsense. The term “female” is intrinsically transphobic. My cat is still breast feeding the three kittens, this is clearly transphobic. Make her stop. What about all us women with penises, we cannot do that, it is a VIOLATION OF OUR HUMAN RIGHTS!!!!

In anticipation, really, a lot of anticipation now
XXX XXXXXXX

Letter #98

Dear UN

It is Mrs Wong again. She threw me a dirty look when I went into the store this morning. This would not have happened if you had put her on trial like I asked you to. When are you going to do that? I cite legal statute 27b.3a.vii as the precedent.

Legally yours
XXX XXXXX

Letter #102

Dear UN

This afternoon I broke a nail. Why is there no international outcry about this? Please regard the NEEDS of transwomen seriously.

Cuticlally challenged
XXX XXXXX

Letter #106

Dear UN

I wish to protest the hateful, yes hateful, way that Special K advertise their product. They ALWAYS show biological women in bathing suits. This is transphobic, because I also eat Special K breakfast cereal, and I want you to put a stop to this NOW! In fact, all advertising should feature transwomen in all roles. We do not see enough transwomen on television. I want an entire channel devoted to transwomen. Where is OUR equal representation? We should not see any of those inferior biological women on television because transwomen are much prettier than they are. So, in the pursuit of fairness as to who is prettiest in television, it is transwomen, they are much much better than biological women.

Brimming over with prettiness
XXX XXXXX
ps – see my photobucket for PROOF yes PROOF that I am prettier than they are
please ignore the bad lighting in photo #342 which does not show my true beauty, thank you

Letter #108

Dear UN

I know a thing or two about Law, having studied many lawbooks during my years incarcerated in the wrong gendered prison. So don’t tell me you can’y help me. I thought the UN could do ANYTHING!

Holding out hope,
XXX XXXXX

Whenever the UN replies to these *heartfelt* but yet *legally knowledgable* letters, we will let you know.

[1] transgenderlawpolitics.blogspot.com/2011/08/my-letter-to-un.html
[2] transgenderlawpolitics.blogspotDOTcom/2011/08/my-second-letter-to-un.html

17 thoughts on “Dear UN

  1. DaveSquirrel Post author

    Dear UN
    For those who want a word referring only to bodies, I would question why such a word is useful at all. First of all, there’s no clear way to define a female or male body. Second, it would create an unnecessary trans-exclusive social category.

    Apart from the “Dear UN” part, this was an actual comment on a thread. I shit you not.
    No clear way to define female and male bodies eh? 🙄

    Liked by 1 person

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  2. DaveSquirrel Post author

    The point of this pisstake was to point out the amateur nature of the dude writing to the UN to complain about Cathy Brennan & Elizabeth Hungerford’s letter to the UN. As “proof” and “evidence”, the dude cites BLOGS (ffs, roll eyes now), and his letters can be broken down into “mwaaaah, the girls are being meeeeaaan to meeeee!!”. What a maroon.

    I was rather touched, in the first letter he says:
    The gendertrender blog links to an even more extreme blog, with the title of “twanzphobic since forever” [my bold]

    LOL, I really must remember to put that on my reviews page.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  3. KatieS

    Yeah, Dave. That’s because there is no logical defense of penis-bearing trans using women’s bathrooms, penis-bearing trans patting women and girls down when they go through security in the U.S., p-b-t’s being housed in dorm rooms with female college students, etc. They will holler “big meanie” every time. Well, one person’s “big meanie” is another person’s heroine. Ad hominem attacks mean the person has no real argument. So they attack the person making that argument instead.

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  4. KatieS

    “No clear way to define female and male bodies eh?”

    Uh, oh! Their middle-school sex-ed teacher must have skipped that lesson. And they never took biology, either 😦

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  5. survivorthriver

    Yesterday’s local newspaper carried sob story of M2T in prison wanting his taxpayer funded breast implants. I commented, and to my amazement, ALL my comments have been removed today. I just pointed out that XY will never be XX. That XX’s at birth don’t want persons with dongs in their bathrooms. What did I do wrong?

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  6. DaveSquirrel Post author

    ST, you *must never* burst the bubble of the delusion. It is not enough that they themselves want to indulge in the delusion, but the Whole World must play along too.

    Me thinks they did not have any friends in primary school. Nobody would play with them then.
    Well, if today’s little games are any indication, no wonder.

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  7. KatieS

    “I’M sure Bab Ki-Moon wil getright on it

    with his peace-keeping forces”

    Is Bab the lazy tranny version? 😀

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  8. Hecuba

    I’ve no doubt Ban Ki-Moon will act on this issue because it is such an important issue – it is men’s issues and we know men’s issues are real issues are they not? Ban Ki-Moon has already demonstrated he has no interest whatsoever in women’s rights because we don’t exist do we? I am referring of course to the soon to be extinct biologically born females. Yes folks we will soon be as extinct as the dodo – but never mind men (sic) are the ones having babies are they not? So men will continue to exist but biological women will not.

    What a wonderful world it will be – one which comprises only biological males and males who claim ‘I’m a female despite hanging on to my manly status (my penis) because I know ‘real women have penises!’ It’s almost surreal but it isn’t because men really do believe the world revolves around them and their demands/pseudo rights. Where have I heard that before? Oh I remember male supremacy constantly claims only men are human and only men define who is a ‘woman’ and who is not. Biologically born females don’t count because they aren’t ‘real women’ are they?

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  9. zeph

    Really funny post.
    “My cat is flaunting her femaleness at me by breast feeding the kittens. You have not brought my cat up on charges of transphobia, as I cannot nurse kittens. When are you going to come and arrest my cat? This has to stop. It is transphobic.”

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  10. DaveSquirrel Post author

    Two of us composed these letters in about half an hour – just mucking about – but I thought they were so funny, they just had to be shared with the world.

    Reading the original letters on which these were based – what kind of dick cites blogs as “evidence”? That is where his credibility hit an all time low. The UN probably pissed themselves laughing at his letters too. “mwaaahhhh, those real women were being rilly mean to me, look, see!”. Transjacktivists are used to getting everything their own way, with no resistance to their delusions, that I guess it comes as quite a shock when women stand up to them. Poor babies.

    And yes, I do like my ‘psycho font’, LOL.

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