Regular readers will know me as the ‘helpful’ sort, so this is a helping post. I do have a small but (marginally) loyal twanz following – to help you out, all the twanz posts are in the “twanzphobia” category, no need to bother yourself about any run-of-mill issues that affect FABs at large. 😉
I spent the morning reading a blog called “Acquiring A Vagina” (AAV).
Catchy title, due to the obvious catchiness, I will partially overlook the creepiness of the acquisition of a bodypart, particularly a female bodypart in this misogynistic society. You get points for the soundbite nature, but lose all those points for the Hannibal Lecterism and fetishisation. Yeah I’m strict, that’s a picture of me above.
A newish trend in M2Ting is to watch what radfems say about the female experience, which is probably quite sensible, given that we don’t sugarcoat it and tell the truth. Some still listen to the funfems or libfems on this, but because both groups being so male identified, don’t give out a realistic picture other than via the male view of what female is about. These M2Ts aren’t quite ready for the truth, and the author of AAV, “V”, possibly does not love radfems, given the hilarious graphic :
You get points for humour, particularly the “man bum stubble” references. Here is what V says on researching the womany ways, primarily the realities of womanyness. I have snipped a little out. 
Well, let’s start with the obvious – you talk to other women about their experiences. Unfortunately, this isn’t going to give a very complete picture, since you’re probably interacting with them as a male and people have many private issues which they won’t want to share.
So your next stop should be the strongest voice of female experiences, Feminists.
Sadly many pre-transition trans women have been systematically trained to believe that feminists are whining lesbians who really want to be men and who are too angry and irrational to say anything worth listening to. That opinion is complete and utter bullshit.
Feminists are adept at exploring oppression. Merely dipping your toe in feminist waters will give you a decent idea as to the kind of discrimination and oppression that women face on a daily basis. Dive a little deeper and you will begin to understand the structures which keep this culture of discrimination and oppression in place.
Feminists are also really good at sharing their experiences, from tales of workplace sexual harassment and discrimination, to dialogue about being raped and how that experience affected them.
Learning about this can help trans women separate whether they are suffering discrimination because they are trans, or because they are women.
Those who do not bother finding out what life is going to be like after they switch over may be in for a rude awakening and be very, very disappointed to find out that life as a woman isn’t all pampering, frilly panties and hot lesbian encounters. They may be shocked to discover how hard they need to work to gain half the respect they had as men and they may be disillusioned when a man doesn’t magically turn up and pay for everything for them for the rest of their lives.
Anyway, V gets a few points for at least attempting to find out the realities of being womany in this womany-hating world. But only a few points, due to not be discerning enough as to where you will find The Truth (radfems). Never mind, a goodish start nonetheless.
Where V falls down on the job of being a native-dweller of LaydeeLand is the language used throughout the blog. Again, I cut a little slack for being casual/humorous at times, but there are a few faux pas in there that will out an M2T.
- Bless you Westpac, for paying for tranny minge.
- They will give you a functional, okay looking cooch 
- I personally won’t feel complete as a woman without my beloved, bearded clam 
- upon viewing my growler 
- Haven’t had hormones since Wednesday and my tits ACHE 
- The continuing saga of the Princess and Beaver 
- and I got a really good look at my fancy new quinny 
- Dilation continues to be a pain in the, well, cunt 
The list above give you an automatic FAIL, yes, even “tits”, that is terribly dudely. Specifically cunt is an auto-fail without exception, even though V attempted to use it either semi-humorously or ironically or whatever. It is still not allowed under any circumstances due to “cunt” being THE most derogatory word that males use against females.
The next list is ‘sort of’ acceptable among FABs, but generally not among radfems:
- Tomorrow I get the bandages off my fanny and I’ll get a bit of a look at it. 
- OMFG ELECTRIC SHOCK IN ME LADY BITS  (editor’s note: should be “parts” not “bits”)
Acceptable referrals are: Vagina, vulva, clitoris, breasts (radfem approved)
Acceptable slang: Vag, clit, lady parts, boobs, “the girls”.
Whatever you wish to call man parts, or “the junk” is entirely up to you, as we will call them whatever we like (we are not appropriating your manhood).
A couple of further things.
I’ll need to stay on estrogen supplements for the rest of my life though and I will probably start cycling progesterone (the pregnancy hormone) in order to gain the hormonal equivalent of a menstrual cycle (sans the bleeding, but ++craziness from PMS).
Ignoring calling progesterone the “pregnancy hormone” because it is a key hormone within the normal menstrual cycle. This is wrong on so many levels; “craziness from PMS”, holy shit dude, joyously appropriating both the negative sterotypes attributed to all menstruating women, but also to the numbers of women who actually do suffer badly with PMS. It isn’t a joking matter, and it extends to water retention and bloating, migranes as well as mood changes. Appropriating our experience in this manner is minstelising, and really fucking OFFENSIVE. Go up to a black person and call them the N-word, and see what the reaction will be. Same fucking thing. Nor does menstruation maketh the woman, as post-menopausals know too well. Which is a nice segway into the next bit:
This is the culmination and completion of everything I’ve ever wanted in life. I’ve been waiting for this very moment since I blew out the cake candles on my 6th birthday and wished to be a girl. 
But you were NOT treated like a girl. Big fucking difference. Being raised and treated like a girl has an effect on females, and permeates the way we think, feel, respond, carry out our day-to-day activities. This continues too into the reproductive years, whereby PIV is not the carefree enjoyable experience for most FABs, due to fear of pregnancy all the time. For some dykes today this becomes way too much, and they start identifying with ‘male’ to escape the oppression of females, particularly butch females.
And finally, you have a touch of the man-flu too. The post-operative pains for which you were given analgesics. And this bit:
Every once in a while I’ll get the inevitable “You get the fun of being a woman without periods, blah blah, being a cis woman sucks more.”
NO. Just fucking…NO. It felt like I’d given birth to a very large and very angry porcupine who went back in afterwards to check for his lost pocketwatch and have a cup of tea and a chat to my prostate. 
You know, I have been through a number of abdominal surgeries on my retained (not removed) ovaries, without analgesic (because most don’t work on me). And gawd knows how many other gynae procedures. It is unbelievable pain (ovaries), it’s tender, and it also takes ages for the intestines to settle back into their position. Your gonads are not the be-all end-all on the pain scale, and in your op they were removed, not retained. Also appropriating a birthing experience when you never have and never will go through it is also insulting to those who have been through it.
And a final bit of dudeliness:
I’ve been lucky – my penis was large, uncircumcised and my scrotum baggy and stretchy. This meant that during surgery the surgeon managed to create a 7.5 inch vaginal canal; which is about the best depth possible. I also have a very wide pelvis, which means that my vagina sits precisely where a cis vagina would sit and there is no contact with the pelvic bone/opening when I dilate.
If I continue to dilate rigorously and my natural skin flexibility extends to my vaginal walls, I could even reach 8 inches of depth in 4-6 months time 
Size fixation. Although the FAB vagina will change size during childbirth or arousal, frequently a penis will hit the cervix which you don’t have, and it is not pleasant either. Very not pleasant to quite painful. Judging by your post-operative pain threshold, you could not handle the pain.
But, the neo-vag is purely a fuck-hole, for sex with males. Most FABs don’t get that much out of penetration, esp after a few minutes of thrusting, clitoral stimulation is where the pleasure lies. Truthfully, a lot of the urge for penetration is merely biological hangover for impregnation, which can also be overridden too (being a base urge).
Having a neo-vag constructed for the purposes of having sex with males also reinforces the concept of females being masturbatory aids for males.
Although I have been fairly lenient in some areas of the grading, V gets an overall FAIL.
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