Stalker creepy

An aside comment that Aileen made, and her mention of Spokeo, got me thinking.
As women (primarily if you are a het dating woman) some dude may take it upon himself and develop a stalking obsession with you. It happens quite a lot, most of the time it can be just an inconvenience, but sometimes it can lead to grave harm like rape or even death. Even just going out with a dude once or twice can be enough to start the whole stalker thing.

But, that is not what this post is about. As radfems, we have a lot of enemies. Most of us are savvy to realise the constant threats from online male supremacist dudes and have blogging identities. What I wanted to warn you about, was to keep all information tied to your real personal life, completely separate, including birthdates. Sites like FaceButt ask you for you full birthday, not just the year (which is really the only thing necessary once you are over 16 or 18 or whatever the age limits are). So get yourself a fake birthdate too. Register your radfem profile with a pseudonym. Avoid putting your telephone/mobile numbers in profiles (fudge it if you have to supply one).

If you have multiple radfem IDs, then try to make them as disconnected as possible. Use of gmail (or similar) email addys is quite good. Sometimes you can register your gmail with a mobile number, do that, then go back in and change it later. Let’s just say that I have ‘multiple personalities’, as far as my online presence goes, most are disused.

Many of you already know that a few years ago, a radfem blogger was not only hounded off the internet, but serious attempts were made to track her down in real life, complete with death/rape threats of course. All for saying something in a private radfem forum, that had a sex pozzie spy who copied and leaked the information to the outside. Lots of attempts (including successful ones) by pozzies infiltrating radfem and anti-porn groups have happened, and you should always assume that is the case in more general forums. Thus far I don’t know of any tranz infiltrations, but being MAABs, it is bound to happen.

And don’t forget falling out between radfems either. I have recently seen a radfem, for whatever gawddamn reason, go to a pozzie site, and basically give ABC instructions of how to find out the radfem blogger’s personal information (through association to things like FaceButt), all whilst denying that she would ever reveal the information. Frankly, I consider supplying a fluorescent breadcrumb trail to the information as good as doing it.

What pissed me off today, was that I went to Spokeo and did a search of my Libber email addy. Not a lot came up – although who knows how much more comes up with membership or paid services. What came up that really pissed me off was a list of my recent blog posts, from this blog, a blog that is hidden from search engines. I might have a moan to WP about it. Perhaps it may be connected to that stupid Gravatar profile site, it pisses me off that we have to put our profile pic for WP onto another site – I just don’t want it. It should be optional, for those who do want connected identities throughout the internutz.

As an aside, all that stupid connection between the various logins for Blogger/Blogspot (like using Google IDs) does not always work that well, it’s a flippin’ nuisance. If you have a Blogger blog, this is one reason I don’t comment much on them (do defect to WP, Blogger is shit). And, whilst I am at it, never use a black or patterned background, no matter what blogging platform you use.

So go to sites like Spokeo, and see how much info you can dig up on yourself, then go back and hide your personal tracks if you want to remain anonymous.

If you know other sites like that one, let us know about them. I am sure that all the creepy stalker dudes already know tonnes of them.

If you want to discuss certain events naming specific incidents concerning radfems, then request a private thread and I will make one. Put your request for the pw here, if such a thread is created. There is no need to supply your email address, I just pick that up off your comments, so that is always the one I use.

23 thoughts on “Stalker creepy

  1. Jilla

    Don’t put your real name into Spokeo.

    Like the “do not call lists” they’ve now got you and your ISP, which is what really counts for tracking you.

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  2. Sargasso Sea

    May we please have a protected on this entire subject.

    I have some questions to ask and statements to make that I don’t feel comfortable about just throwing out there…

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  3. FAB Libber

    Google is in your underwear drawer.
    It will be shocked when it sees all the old lady underwear in there!

    Like the “do not call lists”
    What are those lists?

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  4. Mary Sunshine

    Heh. Just checked MarySunshine on spokeo. A woman in her 70’s wearing a blonde wig comes up! 🙂 She can be my disguise.

    All my real name stuff has been locked down for years. I checked my real name, and nothing comes up – but then I’m canadian.

    At some point if I get zealous, or really curious, I’ll take out a spokeo subscription to see what kind of tracking they can actually do on my blog personas.

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  5. FAB Libber

    Well, for those who don’t already know, police/military dudes have twice the perp rate of DV than other dudes, that right there is a flag of the rouge kind.

    Two stories in the news today.
    A woman died on the railway tracks last night (no details, but possibly fleeing?). The cops were called out to “a domestic incident” an hour or two before and were “dealing with it” (not well I might add). The have since arrested dude on charges of ‘false imprisonment’. Dude is 45 and believed to be the partner of 25yo woman killed.
    http://www.eveningstar.co.uk/news/update_brandon_rail_death_followed_domestic_incident_police_reveal_1_829849

    A Devon police officer has been sentenced for ‘having sex’ whilst on duty. He was cleared of the rape charges. So it seems that the establishment really are only miffed at him for bunking off on duty, not for being a rapist. There had been more about this story leading up to the sentence, the woman insisted it was rape, and he seemed to be stalking her a bit too.
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-12748457

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  6. Selah

    oh crap. I just replied asking for the password but I forgot I was logged in as my more public account. If you don’t mind just leaving that comment in moderation or deleting it I would be most appreciative.

    How very meta of me.

    Seriously though, I am so used to just going ahead and being public in what I post online that it’s going to be a bit of a mental shift to keep my radfem online presence locked down. I realize the importance though. When I was caught up in pomo funfeminism I thought that men were by and large kinda douchey but the vast majority were not “really” all that dangerous. And come to think of it, maybe they’re not, to funfems, who aren’t really doing much to challenge them.

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  7. FAB Libber

    Have sent out the requests to date. Just going offline for an hour or so, so expect delays for further requests.

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  8. veganprimate

    I went out a few times with a dude, and he admitted he wasn’t attracted to me, so I broke up with him. I don’t go where I’m not wanted. For no apparent reason, he suddenly got a serious hate on and started sending e-mails to a friend of mine stating that he was going to kill me (why he never sent them directly to me was odd). I bought a hunting knife and carried it around. Fortunately, he didn’t remember where I lived, as we went out just a few times, and he was only at my place at night, and I was the one driving. I called the authorities, and their solution was to file a restraining order. But guess what? I would have to supply my address. I said, “He doesn’t know where I live. He will when he is served with the restraining order.” That was all they could offer me. Complete bullshit.

    I went to see a therapist and he gave me some interesting advice, which I will post on the private thread, so as not inform the enemy.

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  9. jilla

    No one has ever seriously stalked me or been after me, whom I didn’t know personally. And those are the majority of stalkers and abusers.

    I only have a humorous story, not meant at all to trivialize your experiences.

    The husband of a woman I’d known for years and been briefly involved with in an advocacy group, started phoning and masturbating over the phone. The first time I was shocked, then disgusted, thought geezuz when does this shit end I’m 59?

    He kept it up a couple times a week, over a period of months. I got voice mail and it stopped. Since vm costs, I dropped it when it seemed safe. It strarted again.

    So one day when he called, I patiently waiting until he was mid-throttle, and called out:

    “Evelyn (his wife’s name) it’s for you.”

    Never had a problem (with him) since. Won’t even look at me when they meet me on the street and she and I say hello.

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  10. FAB Libber

    Brilliant. 😛

    I am going to have an early night, so anyone else wanting the key will have to suck it up until tomorrow. Serves you right for not being on Greenwich Mean Time, LOL

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  11. FAB Libber

    The peeing part does not take too long, and it is the room next door.
    Because I thought you all needed to know that.

    And now it is bed!!

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