I might have accidentally founded the Big Meanies Club! Well, that is what they will call us – and worse – for our refusal to indulge males in any way, up to and including delusions of ‘gender’.
Males are energy vampires. They steal from females; female time, energy, support, compassion, understanding, then they turn around and use those same qualities, the ones they have already benefited from, and use them as a weapon against us. They suck the life out of us, for all or most of our lives, and any woman who dares to say “fuck off” is a Big Meanie. So, zmog, there just has to be a club for this sort of errant behaviour!
Het men will steal our time in housework, childcare, ‘second’ income, emotional support (one way deal usually), ego boosts and the list goes on. When he decides he is finished with her, she will be left with little or nothing to show for this ‘partnership’, and most likely she will be left struggling to get by with no/disrupted career, children to support, no fair deal on the asset distribution. When women finally wake up to the raw deal and say “no more” they are Big Meanies for withholding this vital support to men – actually they get called a lot worse usually, all to try and guilt you back into the manz-support fold.
M2Ts aren’t any better. We have to give them unconditional support; access to our spaces, our activist time supporting their agenda, complete and utter acceptance of them as women – just because they say they are. Do they reciprocate at all? Nope. Not on your life. Like every other activist movement that involves males, once they get what they want, we females are on our own to ‘get the rest’. Every fucking time.
Ah, but M2Ts go one better than that. Even during the cozy alliance that they insist upon, they call us names like cis-woman and a hell of a lot worse, like transphobic, haters, bitches (and I will bet they also call us cis-whores in their trans-only spaces, it’s a given). They have no problem telling us that they “hate us” when things don’t go their way. Awww, diddums. Are they five? Basically most of the names are the same shit that other males throw at us, but, in a dress and some nice lippy! Typical transmisogyny.
As a separatist I refuse to give my time or energy to any male in any capacity (save earning a crust to eat, but I am working on that). That is inclusive of supporting males in their delusions to be whatever the fuck they want to be this week. I am not propping that up in any way, shape or form.
Nor did I, or any of my radfem colleagues, start the name-calling. Initially, we tried to be supportive, and what we got back were labels that we did not approve of, like cis-gender, cis-woman, and apparently cis-supremacist (I fucking kid you not). Time and time again we asked politely and nicely, “please stop, that is not a name we chose for ourselves, it is offensive on so many levels”. Guess what? They didn’t stop! So my butch work-gloves came off – “fuck you, you cannot respect my wishes for what I want to be called, I will not indulge your little fantasy of ‘correct pronouns'”.
Yes that is right, no more catering to the pronoun fantasy world! zmog, I am such a Big Meanie. In the queenie world of M2T, that is “worse than rape!!!”. Yeah. Right. Whatev’s.
It really takes very little disobedience to males to end up in The Big Meanie Club. Come join me!
As usual, see the standard disclaimer. Read it and weep.
And grow-the-fuck-up-already whilst you are at it.