Lambs to the slaughter


Apologies in advance, but this is going to be a downer of a post. It is a follow on from my Grooming post, whereby I outlined that girls were groomed from birth to be heterosexual, well, it seems that it is really well beyond that point, they are also groomed to be rape fodder, and by their own mothers no less.

Hat tip to Aileen Wuornos and her comment at High Dudgeon, linking to a story in today’s paper regarding four teen rapists and one 14yo girl.

Under statutory rape laws in Australia (although it varies a little from state to state, a quick overview here, 2nd comment), the boys were 15 and 16, the girl was 14. Even though their ages fell within the two year ‘close-in-age exemption’ within the age of consent guidelines (for most Australian states), the boys pled and were found guilty of sexual assault anyway. An idea of the events of that occurred that night, which included the boys drinking, and plying her with vodka when she arrived at one of their homes. The other automatic criminal offence they committed, which has no age exceptions (like consent) is possessing or distributing images of a sexual nature of ANYONE under the age of 18 (child pornography laws).

This pack rape mentality is not new, and has been a growing trend over recent years. “C— the Movie” happened in 2006, where a pack of teen boys, most around the age of 17, sexually assaulted, humiliated, and recorded their attack on a developmentally-delayed 17yo girl. They got caught due to the entrepreneurial nature of their exploits, trying to sell the movie for then A$5. At least once or twice a year I notice similar teen pack rape stories reported in the news, and it seems to be a growing trend that these little rapist dickwads hunt in packs and lure girls into a situation where they are grossly outnumbered.

Anyway, back to the current crop of rapist dickwads. The parents of these boys justifying their little rapists’ actions with the old ‘boys will be boys’:

“It wasn’t rape. There was no violence, nothing. It was all friendly and consensual,” she said.

“What people are up against is that it is a crime but they didn’t know that. The age gap was only two years and you can’t compare this to what other people do.

“(The courts) should look at each case separately, it would have been fuelled by alcohol and (the boys) not thinking straight.

“They really didn’t do much that’s the worst thing. It would happen to everyone if it was made public. It happens all the time.”

I wonder if the Nigel’s mother would be quite so understanding if it were another teen boy that had forced her Nigel to jerk or suck him off? No harm, no foul, no problem eh? Or is that one of those ‘real rape™’ things that happens, when it happens to a Nigel? If I was her, I certainly would not be defending the little shit.

But worst of all was the response from the girl’s mother:

The mother of the 14-year-old girl at the centre of the scandal also did not believe the boys deserved to go on the register, because they were “just kids”.

She said that she wished all the parents could have dealt with it rather than involve the police but once the school heard about it, it was referred on.

She also held her daughter accountable for the incident after the vision was sent around to mobile phones and was destined to be posted on the social network site Facebook.

Held her daughter accountable? What the fuckity fuck fuck? Here’s the bus, hold still whilst I throw you under it. We are only in March of this year, but I nominate that one Shocker of The Year. Sickening, it truly is. It is one thing to be pissed at your teen daughter sneaking out, drinking, being sexually active, but to hold her accountable, in a situation where she was grossly outnumbered by teen boys, and even if the encounter was consensual with the first scumbag, it is highly suspicious that the subsequent acts were, particularly as they had ensured to pour plenty of vodka down her throat. It was a planned and calculated pack attack on your daughter FFS.

But, the ray of hope is that the world, outside this collection of bad parenting, has not completely lost the plot:

“They were crucified,” Sarah [a Nigel’s mother] said. “The first three who were charged, they were absolutely crucified in the (news)papers and made it sound like they were rapists and it was like they were sacrificial lambs led to the slaughter. It was horrible.

Yes mother-of-Nigel, he is a rapist, and the newspapers were right to criticise his actions/behaviour, rather than excusing it like you. And the only sacrificial lamb in this story was the 14yo girl, not your precious fucking Nigel.

47 thoughts on “Lambs to the slaughter

  1. FAB Libber

    OK, I was going to raise some points about ages of consent, maybe I will make that another post. I needed to get the “what the fuckity fuck fuck” out of my system.

    And, zomg, isn’t that the cutest little sheep graphic that I found?

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  2. Jilla

    It just goes on and on, the denial, the erasure and trivializing. Great analogy. If it had been boy on boy, it would be important.

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  3. Sargasso Sea

    Hey, FAB Libber, I hope you don’t mind if I dump this here because my mom threw me under the bus about 8 months ago and I haven’t talked to her since and doubt I ever will again. It’s something I’d like to get off of my chest 🙂

    In a discussion we were having about my brother* and why??? he had knives, chains and handcuffs sitting out on the coffee table moments before his “date” was to arrive I actually had to spell out for her, SURPRISE your darling son is a porn-sick, rape-minded, misogynist prick.

    She wanted to know how I knew that, like what actual evidence I had (!!?) and I started to tell her about the time when he was hanging around in the city I was living in and had come over to my house to mooch food and ended up staying well into the night. All my roommates were out or asleep and while we were sitting there talking he started stroking my hair and telling me how beautiful I am and moving closer to me and was saying shit like Remember how much you used to like it when I did this with you when you were little and You know you want it, to ME his grown-woman sister. (I should have killed him on the spot.)

    Now I’d only gotten to the part about him stroking my hair when my mom said, You shouldn’t have been taking drugs with him. Of course, she had no way of knowing whether or not I was on drugs (not that it matters!!!!!!) and I hadn’t even FINISHED my reporting. She didn’t even know what, exactly, had happened. First instinct: throw daughter under bus. Her fault, her fault, her fault.

    It’s my fault that her son is a would-be incestuous rapist. Did I mention that my mom is a self-styled Lesbian Feminist?

    * we were talking about a time in the past when he was in his late 30s, unemployed due to methamphetamine addiction and living in a trailer in my mom’s back yard.

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  4. veganprimate

    Ugh, I’m sorry but I can’t say anything b/c I’m so angry about the post…and about S4’s situation. Throw women under a bus, indeed. God, I’m so pissed off!

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  5. Jilla

    When my brother died there was this bullshit eulogy read at the service.

    That’s all. I just can’t go into hard stuff, this wekk.

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  6. Mary Sunshine

    Yup. Mum threw me under the bus when I was 21. Actually, long before that, but that was when I disclosed.

    ((( S4 ))). I know how that feels.

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  7. ball buster

    This is an abomination, both this story and s4’s. I make an honest effort not to give men any of my personal energy whatsoever, but it’s moments like this where I truly fucking hate them. I hate them with all my little ice shard heart, the nasty ass bastards.

    This reminds me of the kidnapping of Brittany Mae Smith. She is only twelve years old, kidnapped by a 36 year old pervert who was living with her mom, and people right here in good ‘ole USA were blaming HER for it. Yessiree they decided that she looked too mature for her age, shouldn’t have friended him on facebook, or pretty much breathed or existed around this horrid, fugly bastard. Apparently her existence was too much for him to handle, THAT’S why he kidnapped her. Uh huh. Not that he’s a child molesting pervert, but that SHE was too pretty, mature, ect.

    Her mother was found dead and she was taken clear across the USA and people didn’t blame Jeffrey Easley, they blamed her mother and HER. A twelve year old. I’m talking grown women and men pretty much accusing her of murdering her own mother so she could run off with the pudgy, nasty slob that molested her on a frequent basis by touching her hair, ect.

    Under the bus indeed. No girl is safe from that bullshit, I swear to god.

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  8. luckynkl

    I think mothers have a tendency to deny when their children do wrong. We can blame the patriarchy for that. This woman-hating society blames mothers for what their asshole children do and blames the son’s behavior on his mother’s parenting. So you might as well call the mother the rapist or molester cuz she’s the one who will be hung for it – not her asshole son. This often results in women having a knee-jerk when their children are accused of wrong-doing. I half-suspect if your brother had accused you of doing something to him, she’d’ve denied it just as fast.

    My mother thankfully didn’t do that tho. When I told my mother about my grandfather and brothers, she believed and validated me. My grandfather had also tried to corner her and I suspect her brother had done something to her too. She knocked his teeth down his throat with an ashtray and would never see or speak to her brother again. So I never met my uncle.

    As for my brothers, they all tried once. Then I set them straight. You’re my brother and I love you, but not like that. We then came to an understanding. You don’t stick your dick in my mouth when I’m sleeping and I won’t cut your balls off and slit your throat when you’re asleep. Deal? They took the deal. Especially when I asked them if they were getting sleepy yet. Problem solved.

    I told my mother about it the next day. She said I handled it well and was very proud of me. I’m a chip right off the ol’ block.

    As for the girl’s mother in the article, a thump on the head.

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  9. joy

    ((s4 + Mary Sunshine))

    luckynkl, I wish my mother had been so badass. She still sometimes apologizes out of the blue, often via text, for not realizing that what my uncle did was bad until he did it to me and she saw the results. And I think she’d still talk to him anyway, out of a sense of obligation, if I hadn’t called the cops on him once when I was a teenager.

    She still does not believe me when I try to tell her about my cousin, said uncle’s son. She also has been overly defensive of my grandfather, which kind of makes me think something’s up with that too.

    Often if people admit the truth to themselves, they have to realize their lives have been awful and their realities built entirely on lies. And they don’t want to do that.

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  10. FAB Libber

    Over at Linda Radfem’s, Linda made the comment:
    Without defending what the mother has said can I ask that we not throw her under a bus either? If we do we run the risk of stealing attention from the rapists and making mum’s apologism seem somehow worse than the rape.

    I responded:
    It is a very fine line to walk though, isn’t it?
    I don’t think anyone here is maintaining what the mother did is *somehow worse* than what the little rapist-pricks did. But it is fair to point out that whilst mothers will normally defend their kids no matter what, this one is not only not defending her own, but siding with the mothers of the boys. I think that the underlying concern/fear/shock that we have is that we know just how damaging it will be for this girl’s future. This point in history will have lasting ramifications. Actually, I would predict that this girl’s self-esteem and self-worth, already low, will probably lead her into a life of prostitution. This is how many prostituted women are made. They aren’t born, they are broken into it.

    I wanted to add, in light of the personal stories shared here, that yes, it can go either way, some rise up to become radfems and realise the shit for what it is. But I think these (you!) are the minority, the majority will become broken, despondent, and become destroyed by the system. The pool of prostituted women bears this out. Many are broken then gravitate into it, some are not quite broken going in, but the breaking of the spirit is completed once there.

    Given the lack of support by this girl’s mother, I can see that the chances are high that she will follow this path. Very sad to witness this destruction as it is happening.

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  11. Undercover Punk

    FAB, you’re so prolific, I can’t even keep up with all your posts! 🙂

    Or is that one of those ‘real rape™’ things that happens, when it happens to a Nigel?

    HA! My tiny violin. Sexual exploitation is just par for the course when it comes to girls. It’s the core of the female grooming process.

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  12. FAB Libber

    Hi UCP, glad to see you finally decloaked.
    Yeah, I have been on a roll lately (although a dry spell for the last few days).
    You said some brilliant stuff, esp in the comments, in your ‘rape as oppression’ post.

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  13. Jilla

    Very true what you’ve said. “the majority will become broken, despondent, and become destroyed by the system. The pool of prostituted women bears this out. Many are broken then gravitate into it, some are not quite broken going in, but the breaking of the spirit is completed once there.

    Given the lack of support by this girl’s mother, I can see that the chances are high that she will follow this path. Very sad to witness this destruction as it is happening.”

    But who knows what this mother really said, did, or why? And let’s remember, she’s been groomed to. A complete and utter colonized woman. Pity them both. The mother could not possibly save this girlchild. Don’t she, they live in the same sewer we all do? Are any of us saved from it?

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  14. Jilla

    Do we blame the women who do FGM, or despise what they do, but pity them and know we ARE them.That’s what makes us who we are. Radical feminists.

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  15. FAB Libber

    Of course her choices were to either:
    1) Throw daughter under bus
    2) STFU
    3) Support daughter

    Even STFU is a way better option.

    I do realise that it is a bit of a slippery slope. The FGM thing, perpetuated by women, is in response to making their daughters marriageable and a success under their current circumstances. Recent years has shown that education is slowing down the rate, and that there is another way.

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  16. FAB Libber

    I think I see that calling out this behaviour, instead of blanket acceptance (due to prior abuse, conditioning etc) is part of a wider education process of not perpetuating abuse. We are all conditioned by the same system, some of us are abused etc, but do not go on to abusing others. At its core, there is still some free will involved.
    A bit of a topic on its own.

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  17. Undercover Punk

    Thanks, FAB! I appreciate your support of my latest post. I’ve been laying low, trying to stay out of trouble. But this can’t be my first comment here, is it?? Well, it won’t be my last, you can be sure of that!

    Lambs to the slaughter, indeed. Groomed for exploitation.

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  18. Jilla

    You know, no-one protected me either, and all blamed me, and I have no family. But I know the one who should have protected me initially and didn’t and betrayed me over and over, is not at fault. I understand. But I will never in her lifetime go near her again. She was a broken, beaten, raped, despised, conditioned, groomed, terrified woman.

    I just don’t think it’s like this: rad fem NOT rad fem. There are bits overlapping, times when it’s easier, women who never get out. Like the ones from Vancouver Eastside. There were women there, who prostituted their own children to get the drugs they wanted. And they were not unique. So I can blame them for one thing, but not for everything.

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  19. Jilla

    Speaking of those women, and women who were and are in their predicament: we hear the families praise them, what good daughters, what wonderful mothers. They didn’t have the capacity to be any of those things, and hadn’t for most of their lives. And they came from homes where that didn’t even exist and wasn’t an option, where the parents were doing drugs, sniffing glue, shoe polish and gas, raping their own children, selling them to be raped for enough money for cigarettes. After the girls are dead, they loved them so much. I call bullshit. But we know why all that goes on. We have to forgive the mothers too.

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  20. FAB Libber

    It is perhaps a personal thing (as in “it’s just me”) but I would harm myself, rather than harm another for either survival, or cigarettes. I understand what you mean about the cynical “we loved them” after they are dead, because basically they treated them like an asset, a way of getting money/drugs.

    I think I am cautious about the “free pass”, in that it (supposedly) does not matter what ‘you’ do to anybody because ‘you’ had a rough time, because that is narcissistic and sociopathic. There is a point where someone is a damaged human, and to cross over and become not just a lightweight damager of other humans, but a major league one, is not worthy of “forgiveness”. Some understanding perhaps, but not forgiveness. Indeed, selfish humans do not deserve forgiveness at all.

    In my book, selling one’s daughter for drugs/cigarettes is not a forgiveable thing.

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  21. Jilla

    No no no, not the free pass.

    I don’t mean forgive. I don’t know what word to use. I think people who are addicted do things that disgust even them, which is cause for more drugs. I have addicts in my family. There comes a point you cut the lifeline, because they are never going to do the things they say they “want” to do. And they just keep hurting the ones they profess to love. You understand, but have to think of self-preservation.

    I understand where some mothers could be as broken as the kid on the original story. So I don’t expect much or anything from them. But I’d be one who’d have taken the kid away from here, not sanctified her because she was “mother”, reported her to social services, something, somehow, help for the kid and her.

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  22. FAB Libber

    I don’t mean forgive. I don’t know what word to use.
    Probably either “understanding”, sometimes “compassion”, or under some circumstances, “leniency / mitigating circumstances”. The basis of all that is understanding contributing factors to the case, but, due to the serious nature of the damages inflicted on others, is not fully excused. Somewhere in all of that underlies the principle of free will and choice (no, not the choosy choice kind). It is because those circumstances do not automatically mean X will happen (no cause and effect), and that there is a degree of personal responsibility and choice involved. The examples on this thread prove that.

    Getting back to the bus-throwing mother, I think she said that shit to save her own face/reputation. She did not want people to think she was ‘a bad mother’, and that her teen daughter was out of control, so ‘what could she do?’ That motivation is purely selfish and self-centred, and that is what gets my back up regarding it, and comes under the heading of harming others to benefit yourself. In it though, she went further, excusing the boys’ behaviour (“just kids” meaning boys will be boys, no harm done). So some major-league bus-throwing going on.

    Further, this lack of support/understanding means that her daughter, still a very young 14 and not yet an adult brain, will process these events as “no-one loves/cares for me” and will lead her onto a path of self-destruction, most likely prostitution and drugs.

    This was not a small event, it was a major one. I remember my mother, planting small ideas in my head (“you can be whatever you want to be”) when I was a kid. What I am saying is that is when small things can change the course of a river, big things definitely do. And that one was a biggie in that 14yo’s life. The mother may as well have tattooed “I am a worthless slut” on her daughter’s forehead.

    And of course, the mother could have chosen option 2, stfu, and done a “no comment” to the meeja. At least that would not have been as damaging to her daughter.

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  23. FAB Libber

    Further, because the reason behind this mother’s bus-throwing was more for personal gain (at the expense of another), it is not excusable under the “she didn’t know better… it’s patriarchy/she is doing the best that she can”.

    Which is different from a blanket mother-blame stance.
    Case-by-case basis and all that.

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  24. ewinsor

    And if you weren’t disgusted enough, come on up here to Canada, where rape is not really a crime anymore – cause we women are all a bunch of whores who are asking for it.

    http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/rape-victim-inviting-so-no-jail–rape-victim-inviting-so-no-jail-116801578.html

    Actually this Harper-conservative appointed judge and the trolls who support him are saying that all men are in fact rapists and it’s our job to stop them by … well, by not existing, really. Walk on the street; you’re asking for it!

    Here is petition to have him removed from the bench. He deserves much much worse than that, really – the little whore is asking for it.

    http://www.gopetition.com/petition/43362.html

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  25. veganprimate

    In my opinion, only a very, very small percentage of people are really cut out for parenting…very few women and even fewer men. Unfortunately, women are seen as means to an end of proving a man’s “manhood” for lack of a better word, and all of them are brainwashed, pressured, coerced, or tricked into having babies, except the ones who make a deliberate choice not to. Making babies is the default setting in patriarchy, regardless of the competency of any one person to do the job.

    Shit like this gets passed on. This poor girl is going to be fucked up now, and she’ll have children and fuck them up in turn. It’s a sick, vicious cycle.

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  26. FAB Libber

    Hi ewinsor, I have not seen you comment at any of my regular haunts, so curious as to how you found yourself here.
    Your (first!) post is also a bit off the mark, regarding the topic at hand, and relates more the systemic enabling of a rape culture, rather than the more insidious psychological and conditioning methods used to make a pool of ready-made victims, like ‘lambs to the slaughter’.

    ETA:
    ps: I don’t mind that general stuff, but the open thread is more the place.
    sorry if I came across a bit rigid.

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  27. FAB Libber

    Shit like this gets passed on. This poor girl is going to be fucked up now, and she’ll have children and fuck them up in turn. It’s a sick, vicious cycle.

    But it is not necessarily a fait accompli though, with guaranteed results every time, and you could go onto say that parents screw-up their kids in unique ways. It is true that a lot of patterns are passed on, but the results, even for two siblings brought up in the same environment, may not turn out the same – hence I am trying to illustrate some of the individuality or individual response/choices involved. Not all abused children go on to become abusers for example.

    Of course, I do agree with you (as always) on the point that a lot of females are coerced/groomed into motherhood, when left to their own devices they would choose otherwise.

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  28. Sargasso Sea

    Hi, Luckynkl. I hear what you’re saying but, no, not with my mom, not when it comes to my brother. One of those situations where he was soooo bad and I was no problem so if I ever stumbled that’s what was focused on: how I’d flubbed up.

    A narcissistic self-protection is exactly what motivated her to do the equivalent of squeezing her eyes shut, plugging her ears and singing la la la la. I totally understand that and her (most certainly better than she does!) but again, it doesn’t fix the hurt.

    I’m about as in agreement with Fab Libber as I can get on this. It’s an incredibly fine line we MUST walk in order to balance sympathy/empathy/compassion with plain old reality check (hoo eee, if I ever get my own blog that’ll be a major post).

    Here, too, education is/will be key. On a personal level, I explained very, very clearly to my mom WHY I was upset with her and that if she wanted to talk about THAT that I would be happy to do so. She’s not interested.

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  29. Pingback: Wolves covered in fleece: Het dudes in their own words | paleotrees

  30. lizor

    Sorry Fab Libber, I did not see a vast difference between a judge in a community blaming the rape victim and the parents of the victim and rapist doing so. I’m still not sure I do. I also am not sure I can see a clean line between “the systemic enabling of a rape culture, rather than the more insidious psychological and conditioning methods used to make a pool of ready-made victims”.

    I know that here in Thompson MB, this ruling, which contravenes precedent for sentencing in rape convictions does not feel “general” at all. All of the young women here have just received a harsh lesson in what they “deserve” for being female. It is most definitely having a “grooming” effect on the young women in this town. It’s letting them know they are trash and to expect to be treated as such.

    We are all so horrified here, particularly by the hoards who have stepped up to applaud the ruling because “it’s about time women learned to take responsibility for their actions”. Thanks Mary Sunshine for signing our petition – this cretan is still on the bench, but no longer ruling on sex crimes.

    Thanks FabLibber for allowing my post. I will steer clear in the future.

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  31. Pingback: Honky-tonk: Women’s reality | paleotrees

  32. FAB Libber

    Lizor, it was just that it was your first post here, and just a random rape link not concerned either with the specific events above, or the general flow of the thread.
    I would not have minded so much if you had done it on the open thread, which is for any general stuff like that. But, you know now, so you are welcome to participate.
    I don’t really have that many ‘rules’ as such, but a few guidelines if you had read some more of the site (you will see me nudging peeps). I don’t really care too much what happens on the open thread (as long it is vaguely feminist related).

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  33. Jilla

    lizor I’d like to hear more from you. We just have to figure out how not to trigger the blog owner. Ha. It’s usually me that does that.

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  34. thebewilderness

    Whenever you see an article like that where they quote the mothers of the boys and do not quote the mother of the girl you should be suspicious of what they are saying she said.
    Had she said that stuff about her daughter they would have quoted her. The only thing they quoted that she said was the out of context “just kids”.

    This is how journamalists lie to us every day.
    Watch for it. I think you will be surprised how often they pull this dishonest crap.

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  35. FAB Libber

    We just have to figure out how not to trigger the blog owner.
    Simple. Go to th Open Thread… that is sort of what it is there for (really off topic stuff, general stuff)

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  36. FAB Libber

    Whenever you see an article like that where they quote the mothers of the boys and do not quote the mother of the girl you should be suspicious of what they are saying she said.
    Noted TBW. Noted.

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  37. Jilla

    I’ve posted about that on another thread. Absolutely confounding. But still does not provide us with an actual comment for the first example.

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